Tales of Teenage Aliens
Strip away the uninspired mythology, and “I Am Number Four” is just your average high school movie with below-average drama. Fielding familiar classroom stereotypes — the bully, the science geek, the strutting alien female in the skintight cat suit — this turgid schedule filler is only marginally more fun than a week’s worth of detention.
Based on the young-adult novel by Pittacus Lore (who markets himself as an extraterrestrial), the story concerns nine alien teenagers hiding out on Earth from an evil race known as the Mogadorians. Resembling an apocalyptic biker gang with a bad case of ringworm, the Mogs are hunting down their prey in numeric order. When the film opens, three are dead and the fourth, a k a John Smith (Alex Pettyfer), is on the run.
Alighting in a small Ohio town with his protector, Henri (Timothy Olyphant, whose hotness is a sweet distraction from the general twaddle), John swiftly acquires a shutterbug girlfriend (Dianna Agron, bland as butter) and a slew of super-abilities. These tricks are soon tested by the simultaneous arrival of the Mogs and Number Six (Teresa Palmer), which prompts the director, D. J. Caruso, to start blowing stuff up and the audience to anticipate a minimum of five sequels.
Sluggish and derivative, “I Am Number Four” is another elaborate puberty metaphor with superpowers substituting for testosterone: when John gets overexcited, rays of light shoot from his palms. He should be thankful it’s not hair.
“I Am Number Four” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Tattooed warriors and turkey-eating shape shifters.
I AM NUMBER FOUR
Opens on Friday nationwide.
Directed by D. J. Caruso; written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar and Marti Noxon, based on the novel by Pittacus Lore; director of photography, Guillermo Navarro; production design by Tom Southwell; costumes by Marie-Sylvie Deveau; produced by Michael Bay; released by DreamWorks Pictures. Running time: 1 hour 50 minutes.
WITH: Alex Pettyfer (John/Number Four), Timothy Olyphant (Henri), Teresa Palmer (Number Six), Dianna Agron (Sarah), Callan McAuliffe (Sam) and Kevin Durand (Mogadorian Commander)
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